I have intentionally allowed my syllabic structure to break from the traditional senryu structure in my first two senryus. In ”ゴミ”, the middle line is longer than traditional because the emphasis on negating the presence of ”ゴミ” outweighs the desire to follow traditional hiragana/katakana rules, so this statement in my poem also break the traditional structure in order to emphatically negate.
Because the last poem focuses on being tired and wanting to rest, the intellectual integrity of the speaker is compromised. This lends itself to a sloppy structure to mirror the mental state of the narrator.
”ゴミ”
にほんには
ゴミがありません。
いこくです。
"Trash"
In Japan,
There isn't any trash.
It's foreign.
"Trash"
In Japan,
There isn't any trash.
It's foreign.
”きんろうかんしゃのひ”
いそがしいです
でもいまココ
やすみます。
"Thanksgiving"
I'm busy.
But now, here,
I rest.
"Thanksgiving"
I'm busy.
But now, here,
I rest.
”すごいですね”
ユニクロは
よくたかいです
がすきです。
"Wow"
Uniqlo is
very expensive
but I like it.
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